the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
