look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
