Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
