he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
