soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
