at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
