Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
