Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
