i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize