when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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