Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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