I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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