Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
