I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We were destined to go to rehab together
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
