Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
