I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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