I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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