But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I would fuck him just for his dog
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
