We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
