is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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