she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
