They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
