You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize