Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
