My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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