Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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