God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize