It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
