dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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