Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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