I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
two words: eviction party
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
