Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just threw up on my dentist
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
