This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
