I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
