haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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