if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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