so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
