Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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