you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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