And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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