My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize