just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize