Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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