I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he thought i was a dude.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
