how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
