i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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