i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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