No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
