some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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