is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
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Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
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Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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