is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
