I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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