Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
