I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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