i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My balls are so social today.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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