Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
