did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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