What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
