Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
