with your own penis?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
