WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
