If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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