I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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