why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
