You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
NoShamevember. You game?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
