Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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